PLANNING YOUR WEDDING (STAGE 1)

PLANNING YOUR WEDDING (STAGE 2)

GENERAL WEDDING TIPS

COST CUTTING TIPS

 

GENERAL WEDDING TIPS

• It is not unusual for ceremony sites and reception sites to be booked one or two years in advance, so be aware of this when looking into sites. It makes sense to check into sites before setting a definite date, as your date may have to be adjusted in order to book a favorite site.

• Ceremony sites may be the most difficult to find, particularly if you want to be married in a church but are not affiliated with one in the area where you want to be wed. It might be best to find the church first before booking a reception facility, or perhaps even before setting a definite date. That way, you can still reschedule for a date when the church can accommodate you.

• Other options for your ceremony/reception could include: Parks, public gardens, museums, trains, boats, mountaintop, beach, a "field of daisies", hot air balloon, hotel, public hall, under a tent, historic homes/mansions, your own back yard or that of someone you know, Inns/Bed & Breakfasts—the possibilities are endless!

• Get every agreement IN WRITING . If the vendor doesn't have a formal contract, just write down the details as you understand them, and ask the vendor to sign and date it. Give them a copy if possible. The importance of this detail cannot be overestimated; without written information, you are dependent on the memory and kindness of the vendors.

• Determine guest list/number of people early in the decision process.

  • Some couples divide the list in 2, and each partner can invite half of the total number.
    
  • Some couples have their parents invite one-third of the total number.
    
  • Just remember--it is your wedding, so be sure you can include the people who are really important to you
• To cut back on the number of guests, think about eliminating business associates from your list, as well as escorts for unmarried relatives/guests, especially those from out of town.

• Your budget total will determine many decisions about your wedding, so if you have limited funds, set a budget amount early. Many other questions rest on this, such as the type of food service at your reception (buffet, cocktails, formal sit-down dinner, alcohol choices).

• If your parents are paying for all or most of the wedding, it may be a good idea to ask them at the start for the total amount they will be willing to spend on your wedding, rather than having to "check in" about each item as you decide upon it.

• NEW!Some couples arrange for a special "Welcome" basket for each of the hotel rooms where their attendants, out-of-town relatives and guests are staying. It could include fruit and other snacks, personal care items, and brochures for points of interest in the area.

• NEW!If you are having several out-of-town guests, you might want to make up a flyer to leave in their hotel rooms (or mail it with the invitation/directions/map) that tells them about things they can do while in town. Include shopping, historic and natural points of interest, and perhaps recommendations for restaurants

  CAKES

• Find out if your baker or caterer includes the cake cutting in their service. What about pouring champagne for the toast? Do they provide a special knife for the bride and groom cake-cutting ceremony, or is this something you'll want to provide (perhaps a family heirloom)?

• Make sure the reception site will accommodate the cake baker in terms of setting up the cake table before the guests arrive, keeping the cake cool (out of the sun, rolling table...) Think ahead of time about where you want the cake table set up in the room, where people will be able to view the cake-cutting ceremony.
• To cut costs, consider having a small "fancy" cake, and then having the baker provide sheet cakes of the same kind, which are kept out of view, and served to supplement the display cake. OR provide another type of dessert, such as ice cream cake, or petite fours, and serve guests a very small slice of the wedding cake.
• For small, informal wedding receptions, this tip could provide cost savings, as well as a personal touch: ask several friends to bake normal sized cakes, and guests can select the kind of cake they want.
• Generally, wedding cakes are priced by the slice, or per person. The cost range is approximately $2.50 to $5 per slice. Some reception sites insist that you purchase their food and cakes. Some places allow you to bring in your own cake, but may charge a per plate "cutting fee".

  FOOD/CATERING

• Find out if your reception site provides food, and what the charges will include (china and glassware, servers, table linens?). Some sites will not allow outside (off-premise) caterers, but will provide all food service themselves. If this is the case, often they will charge a "package" rate; find out precisely what the package includes (get it in writing!)
• If caterers provide dishes, silverware and glasses, try to see a sample, or at least ask what the products are--you wouldn't want to be surprised when you find out they're paper products! Likewise for napkins and tablecloths, if provided.
• Many caterers (particularly those with a restaurant or other venue) will let you arrange for a "tasting", at which you can try out their food. It is also advisable to see their venue set up for a wedding reception or similar party. Try to see how smoothly things flow, how things look, and how much attention is paid to details.
• Be aware that many sites and caterers may automatically charge a "gratuity" of 15-20% of the cost of the meal and bar. This charge is intended to cover the cost of the service staff. Alternatively, some sites may simply charge a "labor charge" per waiter per hour.

  GOWN/APPAREL

• Many brides buy their wedding dress from a Bridal Shop, or Bridal Salon. Other options are: a department store, consignment shop, discount service or mail order, having the gown made for you, altering someone else's gown (perhaps your mother or grandmother), or borrowing or renting a dress.
• Bridal Shops specialize in bridal attire and formalwear (sometimes only for women, but sometimes men's and women's formalwear). Their salespeople specialize in helping brides find a wedding gown, and you often get very personal attention. Some shops require you to make an appointment in advance. Many shops carry only "samples" for you to try on, and you have to special-order your gown.
• Find your wedding gown first, before shopping for bridesmaid's attire or mothers dresses. Your gown should match the theme or "tone" you are planning for you wedding, and the other dresses can be "matched" to that.
• Bring someone with you to shop for your gown-a friend or relative who can be supportive, yet objective. It's probably best to bring just one person—too many opinions can make the task even more difficult!
• Look through the bridal magazines to get an idea of the styles you like (and dislike). Take those pages with you when you go to the shop, to help the salespeople select dresses that are similar, for you to try on.
• Do not look at too many dresses at one time/in one shop. You will have trouble remembering what-you-saw-where.
• Take a notepad, so you can note details about the dresses you liked, and refer to them later.
• You may need to order your wedding gown as far in advance as three to six months - sometimes even more. You will also need to plan on enough time for alterations, which could require a month's wait.

  INVITATIONS

• You'll want your invitation to represent the style of wedding you're having, so it's good to think about this ahead of time.
  

  • If your wedding will be formal, your invitation could be on fancy paper, engraved, with all the formal wording and inserts.
    
  • If, however, you'll be married in a field of daisies, consider sending more casually-styled invitations, perhaps with a "newsletter" type insert, telling guests to dress less formally and wear comfortable shoes!
• Formal invitations traditionally have included the following:

  • Engraved or thermographed invitation card.
    
  • Inner and outer envelopes
    
  • Tissue paper insert
    
  • Reception cards, noting the time and location of the reception.
    
  • Response cards, for guests to mail back telling you how many people are coming.
• If you have oversized envelopes or a lot of extra papers (maps, etc) included with the invitation, you should expect to add extra postage to the envelopes. This cost can add up quickly.
• Once you have all the items you plan to send with the invitations, assemble one complete envelope, and take to the Post Office to find out how much postage it will need. Ask about any special stamps they have available in the denomination you need.
• Remember that you need to put stamps on the response cards so that people can send them back to you. Account for this in your invitations budget.
• Many couples order all their paper goods at the same time as the invitations, including place cards for the tables, and thank-you notes. For less formal weddings/invitations, thank-you cards can be simply pretty cards, with or without "Thank You" written on them, bought at a stationery store.
• It might be helpful to address the thank-you notes at the same time that you address the wedding invitations. You are likely to feel "wedding-ed out" just after the wedding, and this trick can provide a little momentum for getting those thank-yous out!

  BANQUET/RECEPTION FACILITIES

• NEW!Guests often have to wait at the reception while the bride and groom have their wedding photos taken. Here are a few ideas about how to keep them happy while they're waiting:

  • for an early afternoon wedding, people may be hungry, so provide simple hors d'oeuvres like crackers and cheese and veggies and dip that will take the edge off their hunger, but not cost you very much extra.
    
  • make up placemats or cards for the tables that have trivia or other conversation starters. (trivia about the bride and groom, general wedding-customs trivia, etc.) You could even just put cards from one of the commercially made trivia games out on the tables!
• NEW!Decorate the cake table or guest book table with photographs of the bride and groom as children, and other family photos (for example, parents' or grandparents' wedding photographs, etc)
• It is an absolute must that you visit any reception site before deciding to hold your wedding reception there. Contact the Sales or Catering Manager and arrange for a site visit. The visit should take about an hour, and ideally both bride and groom should see it together. The manager will probably give you a pamphlet with their wedding information; take notes on this about any details that you might base your decision on.
• Before you begin your search for a facility, think about what features and activities you want to include in your reception, so you will know whether the facility can meet your needs. For example, if you want dancing, you will need a site with ample space separate from the area where the tables are (or you will have to arrange to have the tables moved out of the way after the meal). Does the facility have a sound amplification system? Is the floor surface adequate for dancing? Etc.
• Many reception facilities have their own "Wedding Coordinator", and often this person can help you with a wide range of planning details. They usually know about vendors for most of the other services you need, and some will make the arrangements for you. This person may also be available to you on the day of your reception, to coordinate the various providers and activities and keep things running smoothly.